A well-meaning friend read this post, and told me I was a good writer. Then I read an article they’d written and thought, wow, there’s no way I can write anything that good. For a while I felt a bit hesitant about posting anything, because I wanted what I wrote to be at least as good as that first post. This is my attempt to get myself unstuck. Because writing something, even if it’s terrible, has to be better than nothing at all, right?
All through High School I was a master comparison-maker. There was a girl in my class who was smaller and prettier (I thought) than me. She was confident, talented, popular, and she always said intelligent things in class. I wanted to be her, I didn’t want to be me. I was awkward, shy, and scruffy looking. So I thought, if I was just smaller, I would be more like her, and then I would be happy. I attributed all those good traits to appearance, but it doesn’t work like that! Did you ever stop to think about why all famous, talented people are so good looking? Maybe it’s not the looks that make them successful, maybe we just perceive them as beautiful because they are successful.
Happiness doesn’t come from being someone you’re not, especially if that means just looking a different way. It comes from appreciating who you are already, your abilities right now, and then making small, useful improvements every day. Somehow I thought I would suddenly become confident and popular if I was skinnier. Instead I became tired and isolated. If I could go back in time, I would give my 16 year old self a hug and tell her how awesome she already was! And then show her how to work on the things that really matter, like building friendships and standing up for your opinions and enjoying life!
I think everyone needs a reminder sometimes not to judge themselves in comparison to others - in appearance or skill level. People who are better than you should inspire you to improve. People who are not as good as you just haven’t had as much practice, and maybe you’ll have the opportunity to teach them.
And now I’m posting this before I think too much and change my mind. Hope it makes sense!
- Claire
All through High School I was a master comparison-maker. There was a girl in my class who was smaller and prettier (I thought) than me. She was confident, talented, popular, and she always said intelligent things in class. I wanted to be her, I didn’t want to be me. I was awkward, shy, and scruffy looking. So I thought, if I was just smaller, I would be more like her, and then I would be happy. I attributed all those good traits to appearance, but it doesn’t work like that! Did you ever stop to think about why all famous, talented people are so good looking? Maybe it’s not the looks that make them successful, maybe we just perceive them as beautiful because they are successful.
Happiness doesn’t come from being someone you’re not, especially if that means just looking a different way. It comes from appreciating who you are already, your abilities right now, and then making small, useful improvements every day. Somehow I thought I would suddenly become confident and popular if I was skinnier. Instead I became tired and isolated. If I could go back in time, I would give my 16 year old self a hug and tell her how awesome she already was! And then show her how to work on the things that really matter, like building friendships and standing up for your opinions and enjoying life!
I think everyone needs a reminder sometimes not to judge themselves in comparison to others - in appearance or skill level. People who are better than you should inspire you to improve. People who are not as good as you just haven’t had as much practice, and maybe you’ll have the opportunity to teach them.
And now I’m posting this before I think too much and change my mind. Hope it makes sense!
- Claire